Increasingly, we’re seeing how contemplative practices are used to undermine social structures that might promote inequality. Are initiatives like Black Lotus Collective an attempt to address social change or to promote wellness? Does the Black Lotus Collective point to a link between those two?
The two are inextricably linked. We do both, as both inform one another. Both are critical for the other. Inner wellness is critical not only for dismantling the systems that cause depression, but also for giving the imaginative space to allow something else to take the place of those structures. If you’re not well, there’s almost a guarantee that the structures that you put in the place of the ones that you tear down will continue to replicate the same violence. A part of the work that we do is making sure that in doing the healing work internally, we can build new structures that are actually more liberating.
Pretty much every structure that’s ever been built has been built in the name of liberation, truth, and justice- yet look at the world we have. So, we’re trying to be rigorous about our approach to healing so we can be rigorous about what we build. And on the flip side, these oppressive structures impede our healing. There’s real structural change that needs to happen. It feels really important to turn toward that because folks can’t heal if they are struggling to feed themselves, take care of themselves, if they’re experiencing incessant threats of harm and violence, and if they don’t have money.
We’re witnessing a global pandemic and American civil unrest. Do you think that Black Lotus Collective was designed to address this very type of unrest?
Yes, it’s designed exactly for that. The work of the Black Lotus Collective has always been about preparing us for pain and suffering; to show up to the particularities of each moment of suffering while recognizing that this suffering has always been with us. Our work is sustaining ourselves so that we can meet these moments of pain when they come to us.
As Black Lotus Collective blossoms, how do you envision its own growth and the impact of our five year or ten year period?
We all have different visions. I’m aware that each person’s version of liberation and truth are very different. I’m currently with the question: what do we do with the fact that we actually may all have different visions of what it means to live in a liberated future? What does it mean for us to potentially have different visions for what we want for the collective? Maybe some of us view our role as being more deeply relational, maybe some of us view our role as being more deeply structural. We’re in a process in which we’re actually being forced to reckon with where we overlap but also where we don’t. It all comes back to that very simple practice of just showing up as honestly as I can while keeping myself safe and figuring out what it means to do that with these folks with whom I’ve been in practice. It’s always the practice and it’s always evolving.
What do you envision for your future?
I didn’t feel like this going into grad school, but a part of me may want a tenure-track faculty job. I’m considering what it means to go into academia and bring myself into these spaces as authentically as I can. I’ve been thinking about doing that at a liberal arts college where I could be focused particularly on building community at the same time as I do some research, but not the amount of research that I see professors doing at R01 universities. I’ll likely be taking a different path than that (but we’ll see!). I’m also thinking about what it means to have a significant time period of extended retreat in the midst of my academic work because, again, continuing my embodied practices is a non-negotiable part of what it means for me to exist. So, I’m exploring whether I can blend my embodied contemporary practices with working from within these institutions.
I also love clinical work. I was drawn to this field because I love holding space, it’s one of the clearest connections I have to the divine, to the infinite, to the Dharma. I would like to have my own private practice and healing practice center, and having a clinical psychology license would make that process easier.
Ultimately though, I hope to go where life calls me, without much preconception. No matter what, I will have to forge my own path. That may be outside of institutions. Building on my own makes me feel nervous because in America, there’s like no safety net at all for anybody, especially not for folks like me.
For now, I’m just going to take as much time as possible with the PhD, do the work that I get called to, do work with folks that I care about, have as good a time as I can, do as much music as possible, and heal. I’ll see what happens when I do those things.